Twins, Eric and Deric, live at Cal Farley's Boys Ranch

“I know my dad’s phone number! It’s _ _ _ – _ _ _ _.”

“Yeah, but you forgot the ‘9’…you have to dial ‘9’ first,” Eric corrected his brother, as he usually does.

The two boys are a whirlwind of activity, and when together the intensity can more than double. But they sure are fun to be around. The twins have lived in two homes, which are next door to each other in the pre-adolescent community at Boys Ranch, for nearly a year; though their family has been receiving services from Cal Farley’s for far longer.

Eric and Deric’s mother had divorced their father while she was pregnant. When they were just six months old, she left them with their father – along with their older brother – and moved to Arizona. A few years later, their father remarried and his new wife had children of her own, as well. Soon thereafter, the newlyweds welcomed their own child.

“I have five brothers,” Deric interjected. “Two real brothers, two step-brothers and one half-brother.” As the family grew, so did their challenges. James, their father, continually works long hours as an Emergency Medical Technician.

He works hard to support his family, and his wife works hard to keep the household running, but oftentimes they endure hardships. Mary Villalon, a caseworker at one of the five Cal Farley’s Family Resource Centers, has been working with the family within their community. She was instrumental in helping the family place the boys at Boys Ranch, as they needed a bit more intervention services than did the other children because they were experiencing some behavioral challenges that were beginning to affect their peer relations and schooling.

“When you meet them now, they have calmed down a lot,” said Deric’s caseworker at MF Home, Aida Nino. “It has taken a lot of redirection to teach them to get someone’s attention by calling their name instead of pushing or hitting. Deric is so good hearted and he is so hilarious.”

“Eric represents Boys Ranch so well,” added Shawntae Stout, Eric’s caseworker at Edwards Home. “I get daily reports from his houseparents. Even at a recent trip to the circus, he was being polite and following the rules.”

The team collaborates regularly and discusses any updates on the twins and their whole family. “Dad really struggled with bringing them here and this has been really hard on dad,” said Nino. “It helps to have Mary building that rapport and working with them in the home.”

The Cal Farley’s Boys Ranch Amateur Athletic Union (AAU) is a depiction of such success, and now, the boys who make up that team are helping others around campus become successful, too.

Mark Strother, Cal Farley’s Chief Operating Officer, recently met with the team, at their request. They inquired about including some monies in the budget for the team jerseys and had explained that they were willing to work for the money, but they wanted some help to offset their costs. Up to this point, the team had each season held bake sales and other types of fundraisers around campus to raise the funds necessary to purchase their jerseys or to carry out other team projects.

Strother, impressed with their dedication, tasked them to come up with a proposal on a service that they could perform to help out around Boys Ranch. If approved, he would allocate the monies needed for their jerseys, thus paying them for their time spent on carrying out the efforts.

“They came back around with a big proposal,” Strother said, proudly. “What I got from them was much more than I had expected.” The boys created a slideshow and offered five initiatives they felt confident that they could achieve.

“We came up with some ideas and then we met with the Success Coaches,” said Josh, an AAU member. “Then, we talked about what we wanted to do and broke it up into doable pieces.”

“The boys put a lot of effort into brainstorming and planning around this project,” Strother added. “Their efforts were not something that was adult-driven, they did all the hard work themselves. It was very impressive. They had decided who was going to speak about what. It was all very professional. They came to us with some practical plans; not any pie-in-the-sky kind of things, but plans that are doable.”

After the presentation, senior leadership discussed what they liked most and, “We got the OK,” said AAU coach, Anthony Martinez. The two initiatives that were approved included, “Helping Hands” and “Kids Congress.”

“Helping Hands is a new resident orientation program,” explained Will, another member of AAU. “This program is for new residents. We would show them around, introduce them to other residents and answer any questions that they may have, helping them feel comfortable.”

Martinez said that it is the Success Coaches staff who carry out new resident orientation. Of the five parts of orientation, the boys proposed they carry out one. They now will present information about the different clubs around campus, and they will be paired with a new resident to help the new resident become acclimated to Boys Ranch.

“The other thing we came up with was a Kids Congress,” Josh added. “Everybody will vote for one person to represent each home. Those elected leaders would meet once every month and talk about any concerns that they may have with the rules and policies at each home.” Martinez explained that the Kids Congress will be carried out in conjunction with the Boys Ranch Youth Leadership Organization.

The two programs received approval to pilot, and by March, the AAU team already had conducted their facet of the new resident orientation for the first time.

Eli, another AAU member said, “It feels good to show young kids what path to take and be able to give them advice.” Josh agreed, and added, “I’ve waited a long time to get to the point where young kids could listen to me. I’m not some great philosopher, but whenever I can help someone out, I will be there.”

Such initiatives help to build-up the young men’s skills to become future leaders in their own communities.

“This goes beyond the details of putting the plan together and presenting it,” Strother explained. “They are taking on responsibility. They are identifying problems and coming up with solutions, and they are executing those solutions. “They are a great group of kids.”

I think of a new year as a new beginning. In many cases, that is what motivates a family to seek our help. During a family crisis, they reach out because they know something needs to change. Oftentimes, the energy behind a New Year’s resolution fades because there is work involved.

Likewise, help from us comes at a cost – not in dollars and cents or in the form of a handout – it comes through a shared endeavor involving hard work, on our part as well as theirs.

The importance of this was re-affirmed to me today while I was eating lunch with Justin Murphy, alumni and scholarship recipient currently enrolled in the Masters of Social Work program at the University of Texas at Arlington. Justin came to Boys Ranch in the 6th grade, having been raised by his grandmother in the absence of his mother and father. I asked Justin about his perspective on life looking back on coming into our care.

He told me that his Boys Ranch experience was hard, but it also gave him access to opportunities that he might not have otherwise had. He went on to say that he didn’t have the luxury of spending time bemoaning life circumstances that led him to Boys Ranch, but felt like he had all the control in the world of what happens to him going forward.

Wow, how many people these days that could learn from that perspective? I like to consider our work with children and families to be full of opportunities, most of which come in a basic form and have looked the same through the years. Just today, Justin described his Boys Ranch experience in much the same way that 84-year-old Roy Turner – the first Boys Ranch boy – talked about his own experience at Boys Ranch in 1939!

Now, that doesn’t mean all things at Cal Farley’s are the same; after all, we pride ourselves in being innovative and progressive. But, hard work is hard whether in 1939 when Boys Ranch started, or the way it looks today. Regardless of the era, hard work is evidenced through a few tears, a little frustration, a lot of determination, and the sweat off our brows.

We enjoy sharing the experiences of others just like Justin who have thrived in our campus programs, in our schools, and throughout our community-based work done through our Family Resource Centers.

I hope you enjoy!

President/CEO
Cal Farley’s

“My experiences at Cal Farley’s really helped me the most during boot camp,” Shannon shared. “I already knew how to handle the structured environment, and I had already learned to just do what you need to do and get it done.

“I never would have believed I could do this had I never gone to Cal Farley’s. For instance, participating in rodeo helped me realize that I can do what I want to do as long as I put my mind to it.

“Cal Farley’s helped me a lot.”

Marisa’s mother paused, and then answered, “skipping school.”

“Well, let’s talk about what her goal is when she is skipping school.”

Kristin Ruiz, director of one of five Cal Farley’s Family Resource Centers, was teaching a parenting class to parents and grandparents on how to apply the six areas of the Cal Farley’s Model of Leadership and Service® to the lives of their children and grandchildren.

The group discussed that their teenagers go out to eat or they simply “hang out” with their friends during the time that they are skipping classes at their respective high schools.

“Marisa is not earning freedoms for socializing, so she’s doing it on her own,” Ruiz explained. “Kids will tell you what they need (meaning boundaries and rules) by their behaviors and choices.”

Each of the Cal Farley’s Family Resource Centers holds regular parenting/grandparenting classes for the families in their care. For more information, or if you know of a child or family in need, please call us at (800) 687-3722.

The Cal Farley’s Model of Leadership and Service® outlines the six areas of human need:

1. Purpose

2. Power

3. Safety

4. Belonging

5. Achievement

6. Adventure

(l to r) Sherm Harriman, Justin Murphy, Genie Farley Harriman and Dan Adams smile for a quick photo as Genie presents Justin with a plaque for his recent achievements.

Justin Murphy graduated cum laude from the University of Texas, Arlington, with a Bachelor of Science degree in psychology. Justin, who is a 2006 graduate of Boys Ranch High School, completed all four years of college on the Cal and Mimi Farley Scholarship.

Justin’s chaotic life was full of bustling activity but little of it was intentional and structured. He and his five older siblings lived with their grandmother. She loved them very much, and worked very hard to care for them, but it often proved too much for her to handle on her own.

“If you asked each of us, we’d probably all say we got lost in the shuffle,” he said. Justin was a good kid; never in trouble and he often kept to himself playing video games. Then, one day, his brother Josh, his sister Katrina and he, all came to live at Cal Farley’s Boys Ranch.

“The biggest difference was that there was consistency,” he recalled. “It was nice to be able to know what my schedule would be like instead of setting my own schedule. It was nice to know there were borders and there was control, instead of the craziness of wondering when my grandma would be working and when I would be home alone, which siblings would be with me, who was cooking dinner – it was always different.

“When I got out to Boys Ranch, I always knew when dinner would be, when we were going to wake up, what we had to do during the day. It was nice.” Justin said his most fond memories of his time at Boys Ranch were getting his first job in 7th grade working in the dining hall and getting an alarm clock so he could wake up on time, and participating in sports (cross country, track and wrestling).

“I was able to do so much more than I ever would have been afforded. I don’t think anyone should be denied that experience.” The 23-year-old already has begun his studies to acquire a master of social work degree, also at UT, Arlington.

Justin said he looks forward to paying it forward by dedicating himself through his professional career to helping others. “It would be nice to oversee some kind of organization that helps families who are struggling or youth that are at risk,” he shared. “It would be nice to provide some other family with the accommodations that I was able to receive from Cal Farley’s. I would then be able to pay it forward.”

“The support Cal Farley’s receives is not in vain,” Justin continued. “Sometimes people make donations in good faith and they hope that what they are contributing doesn’t go to waste or at least hope that they are doing the right thing, it would be nice to show them that they are doing the right thing.

“The impact of their generosity resounds for life. It certainly will for my life.”

Cal Farley’s Boys Ranch counselor, Chris Chandler, M.Ed., LPC-S, clinical intervention specialist, is using those four facets for learning, and for building trusting, working relationships. The youth who participate in the F.A.S.T. Program have built robots, computers and numerous other items. At last year’s Cal Farley’s Boys Ranch Rodeo, the club even had a display to showcase their work.

The group, which meets every Thursday after school, currently is constructing four rockets, which they plan to launch soon. They first painted the rocket bodies at the Boys Ranch paint shop. Each step of their projects comes complete with professional training on how to build or otherwise execute the task at hand.

“They used a professional paint booth,” Chandler explained. “They learned how to prep; they learned how to mix paint; they learned how to do base coat, clear coat, and how to finish a paint job. They painted the rockets themselves. They put a lot of work into these.”

Once all the rockets had been painted, they began to build the four rocket engines. The youth involved in the group said that they look forward to meeting and working each week.

Brandon, who will graduate from Boys Ranch High School in June, plans to major in engineering when he begins his college courses. He said that he is interested in both civil and structural architecture. Brandon enjoyed the task of building the rechargeable rocket motors and “handling explosives with care…and with style.”

The boys competed against 32 schools and they won first place!

The Boys Ranch Cross Country team also recently was honored by the Amarillo Chamber of Commerce.

Read more about this great group of boys and their dedicated coach in our upcoming 2010/2011 Annual Report. To request a copy after its release date in March, please call us at (800) 687-3722 or email us.

But it was never to read to a book.

“Jake, please come out from underneath the table. Let’s talk about what is bothering you.” Sonja Steelman, casework supervisor at Cal Farley’s Boys Ranch, has worked with Jake since he arrived at Boys Ranch when he was 10 years old.

She easily recalls the many times she was called to the Mimi Farley Elementary School library because Jake was holding his ground under one of the reading tables. “He did not like to sit in class,” Steelman said. “He would get mad and throw things. He was known for his angry, irrational tirades.”

“He was a champion fit-thrower,” added G.C. Richards, Home and Campus Life Advisor (HCLA). “Even at work if something made him mad he’d lie in the floor and kick and scream and cry.”

His mother recalls all too easily how trying Jake’s behavior had been.

“Jake was emotionally difficult,” she explained. “He would lash out at school and he would get in trouble. The school would call me two times a week to go up there and take care of him and calm him down. It was terrible. “They were getting ready to take more drastic measures and I didn’t want that. So I thought I would give Cal Farley’s a shot to see if they could help him, which they have.”

That was seven years ago. Jake required campus-wide intervention. Adrian Jackson, director of Intervention Services and School Support, knows all too well the in-depth, continuous care that Jake demanded of the staff. “We didn’t have the energy – the stamina – to keep up with Jake, but we just always went one more day…one more day,” he said. That dedication and resiliency paid off.

“I’m doing great now,” Jake said proudly. “I’ve achieved Gold status. It’s a huge step from being on red all the time.” Gold status is the highest level of earned privileges a resident can reach at Boys Ranch.

“There are kids who come here to live at Boys Ranch because they don’t have people in their lives who can help them like the staff here have helped me. All the staff here is willing to actually help instead of just ignore you. “Mrs. Hollis helped me out a lot. We used to go for drives a lot and talk about our problems…my life would have been horrible had I not come to live at Boys Ranch.”

Jake will graduate from Boys Ranch High School this June. He now is described as a “great student and highly intelligent.” The 6’1”, 308-pound varsity offensive lineman is looking forward to playing college football while he studies at Midwestern State University, starting in the fall.

“I could not ask for anything better to have happened to that child,” his mother said. “There are so many more opportunities that he has in front of him now that I could never have given him. The attitude from Jake is completely different. I see a big difference and he is much more pleasant to be around now.

“It’s been a truly amazing transformation these past seven years, and I’ll be honest with you, I know – I KNOW – I could never have done that. I work 10 hours a day and sometimes I work 60 hours a week, and I could not have devoted the time or the patience, and continue to deal with him the way he was prior to Boys Ranch. “I definitely give full credit to Boys Ranch for developing him emotionally to better succeed in life.”

“He’s a leader at Boys Ranch today; a leader in the home.”
— G.C. Richards, HCLA

Wednesday Night Devotionals have become a ritual, of sorts, that is delivered at each of the 19 adolescent homes across Boys Ranch. These “Devos” as the youth coin them, have replaced the required hour of Sunday school for the adolescents of Boys Ranch. Now in its third year, the change has proven effective.

Several Chapel and Ranch staff lead the home devotionals, and many are even resident-led. The devotionals have taken on a flavor each their own; though the key is to create a calm, loving atmosphere in which to gather and learn. The structure is consistent and familiar, and the scriptures used each week are pre-planned.

The devotional begins with disarming remarks that allows for an unassuming environment. A candle is then lit to offer a physical, tangible item to help signify special time in the home. An Old Testament narrative is read, and often discussed.

Everyone is then invited to share how they’ve seen God working through someone else over the past week. They go around the room offering every person the opportunity to share, but every person also has the right to pass. This is followed by a New Testament reading by a volunteer in the group.

They then participate in a three-fold prayer format: a prayer of thanksgiving, a prayer for others and finally, a prayer for personal needs: “God, help me with…”

Wilhelm leads the devotionals at Henry Home and at Hamilton Home. At Hamilton Home, they replaced the token candle aforementioned with handmade luminaries. If their house parents are unexpectedly absent, the boys are very careful to ensure their luminaries also are lit.

This particular group then grabs their jar of Prayer Putty, which has proven a helpful innovation that integrates the therapeutic side of having something tactile to touch and move with their hands during times of stillness. “They don’t fidget and they are really open and engaged and want to talk about the Bible stories,” Wilhelm said.